


Cure Me Of Your Love

by Penguina



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Chief of Staff Edward Nygma, Demisexual Oswald Cobblepot, Falling In Love, Friendship, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealous Edward Nygma, Living Together, Love, M/M, Mayor Cobblepot, POV Edward Nygma, Sharing a Bed, Shy Oswald Cobblepot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 03:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: An AU in which Isabella basically never shows up, Oswald tells Ed he loves him but Ed can not return his feelings. Still they decide to continue as if nothing happened for the sake of their friendship, their successful working relationship and for Gotham. But Oswald’s obvious pining is getting in the way, making Ed feel awkward and uncomfortable, so the brilliant Chief of Staff comes up with an unorthodox solution for Oswald to get over his feelings. Ed suggests they start sharing certain intimacies, kisses and touches, hoping that once Oswald gets some level of physical warmth from Ed he’d be able to move on and not want Ed anymore.However, the cure has an unexpected outcome.





	Cure Me Of Your Love

This could not go on any longer, Ed thought. Ever since that fateful evening when Oswald professed his love for Ed things had been completely awful.

“Oswald, I-- I don’t know what to say.” Ed muttered that evening, awkwardly meeting Oswald’s trusting wet eyes. “You know I care about you very deeply. I’ll always be grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But I cannot return  _ those particular  _ feelings, Oswald. I’m sorry.” 

Oswald was definitely disappointed -- hell, he seemed utterly crashed! -- but he accepted it. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” he said, voice small and tentative. “Can we pretend nothing happened? Go back to the way things were? You’re the best friend I ever had, Ed. I don’t want to lose you.” 

Ed did not want to lose his best friend either. He  _ loved  _ Oswald, he just wasn’t  _ in love  _ with him. It was good Oswald understood that and accepted it. So yes, of course, Ed would do everything within his power to preserve their friendship, as well as their partnership. They made such a magnificent team! Together they ruled all of Gotham! Both the legal and illegal parts of the city. Surely, they couldn’t give  _ that  _ up because Oswald developed a crush! Because that was all it was, Ed thought, nothing but a crush. Oswald’s feelings for Ed were nothing but confusion. They would soon fade and everything would be back to normal. Ed was certain of it. 

However, it didn’t fade away as quickly as Ed expected. If anything, it’s gotten worse now that Ed knew about it and noticed all the signs. 

It’s been weeks since the disastrous dinner and things were still awkward between them. All the details that Ed had overlooked before were now glaringly obvious. Oswald’s longing eyes gazing at him, hugs that lingered just slightly longer than they were supposed to, a hand on Ed’s shoulder that was just a smidge gentler than it should be, a smile that revealed more intimacy than Ed felt comfortable with. Has Oswald always been like that around him? The man was so transparent! He literally had heart eyes every time he as much as glanced at Ed! How come Ed never realized it before? 

Oswald never spoke a word of his feelings after that evening. But his entire being was subconsciously screaming his love at Ed. It was most unnerving. His feathery friend was daily expressing his love in all but actual words. And it was making Ed feel not only uncomfortable but also guilty. He could tell Oswald was suffering because of his unrequited crush and he didn’t want to cause Oswald pain. But he couldn’t force himself to love Oswald. All Ed wanted was for things to go back to the way they were back when Oswald’s feelings for Ed were nothing more but those of friendship. And he could tell Oswald wished the same. He could see the struggle in Oswald’s eyes, to not love him, to not want him. 

There was no way they could continue like this and keep their friendship intact. Ed had to come up with some way to deal with this situation, and fast! He had to help Oswald heal from his untimely crush. The sooner it was over, the better. For the both of them. Then they’d be able to be the best friends they’ve always been. 

~*~  

“We can start building the new casino next week.” Ed announced and Oswald beamed at him. 

“Another job well done, Ed.” he said, praising his Chief of Staff like he always did. “I’d be lost without you.” 

And there was that lingering smile again. That warmth in Oswald’s eyes that Ed wasn’t sure what to do with. 

Ed smiled tightly. 

“Have dinner with me tonight?” Oswald asked, hopeful.

Ed usually had his breakfasts and dinners with Oswald, unless there was some event for the evening in which case work always came first. But tonight… he wasn’t sure he felt comfortable with that. It was supposed to be a friendly dinner but deep down Ed felt as if he’d be leading Oswald on if he agreed to it. 

“I’m sorry, Oswald, not tonight. I have a few more files to check before bed and I’m not really hungry.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Oswald consented, visibly trying to hide his disappointment.

Ed gave him another tight smile and hurriedly left the room. It was killing him to act this way around Oswald but what else could he do? 

~*~   

Ed spent the night out. He couldn’t sleep in that mansion, in  _ Oswald’s home _ . He needed to breathe. He walked the streets of Gotham, looking for an answer to their predicament until suddenly a brilliant idea came to his mind. He immediately took care of the necessary preparations. It took him the entirety of the next day but it was worth it. 

When he returned to the mansion in the evening he had no idea his absence had caused any trouble. However, it had. Oswald was beyond himself with worry. 

“I know it has to be 24 hours before filing a missing person's report but, sir,  _ I am the mayor  _ !” he was screaming into the phone. 

“Oswald?” 

The mayor dropped the phone and practically threw himself at Ed, almost squishing him as he pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Ed, thank goodness!” Oswald gasped, his voice sounding like he’d break into tears any moment now. “You didn’t show up and didn’t pick up your phone, I feared the worst!” 

Ed carefully pulled away, releasing himself from Oswald’s grasp. The gesture reminded Oswald of their situation and he quickly regained control over himself, taking a step away from Ed and giving him space. 

“I’m sorry…” he muttered, fidgeting with his hands. “I was really worried. Is everything okay? Nothing happened to you, did it?” 

Ed shook his head. “No, nothing happened. Everything’s fine. I had something to take care of. It’s all good now.” 

Oswald smiled at him. “I’m really happy you’re okay!” he said and his eyes spoke books once again. 

Ed pursed his lips. “Oswald, you’re doing it again.” he warned. 

“I was?” Oswald’s smile was quickly replaced by a worried expression. “I’m sorry, Ed.”

Ed took a step into the study, waiting for his friend to follow him. 

“Oswald, we need to talk.” he said. “This thing between us, it cannot go on like that. I can’t allow it to.” 

Oswald paled. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. 

“You clearly still have feelings for me, Oswald.” 

Oswald flinched. It was the first time Ed addressed the subject so directly after they agreed to not let Oswald’s feelings get in the way of their friendship. 

“I’m working on it, Ed.” Oswald promised, glancing down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting even more nervously. 

“I’m sorry, Oswald, but whatever you’re doing isn’t working.” Ed continued. “There’s only one thing left for me to do.”

Oswald jumped terrified. “Oh, Ed, please don’t leave! I can change! I can deal with it! I can stop! Just please don’t leave!”

“Oswald, relax. I’m not leaving.” Ed said, only slightly amused at his friend’s reaction and partly flattered by it. 

Oswald blinked at him. “You’re not? What then?”

Ed smiled a little and then, “This!” he said.

Before Oswald knew it he was being pressed against the wall, Ed’s lips hot on his. The kiss was passionate and hungry, hot and mind-blowing. It was also Oswald’s first real kiss. 

~*~ 

When Ed pulled away Oswald was still quite visibly dizzy and weak in the knees. He blinked his eyes slowly, content. 

“Hmm, just as I thought.” Ed said, assessing. “You’ve been starving for intimacy, Oswald. So you understand my plan now?” 

Oswald tried to concentrate enough to reply. “Erm… Hmm?” 

“My idea how to cure you of your crush.” 

“My… crush…” 

“Yes.” 

Oswald blinked. “Cure me? How?” 

Ed grinned and went to the door. “Oswald, allow me to introduce you to Mr. Victor Fries.”

As Ed opened the door a tall muscular man with extremely icy blue eyes entered the study.  

Oswald gaped. “Um. Okay. So Victor Fries. Nice to meet you.” 

“Likewise.” the man said, shaking Oswald’s hand. 

Oswald looked at Ed, puzzled. 

“I’m sure this is all very good, Ed, but how exactly is  _ he  _ a  _ cure _ ?” The mayor asked. He had to admit not to be too thrilled about Ed bringing someone else into this. 

Ed smirked cleverly. “Well, I’ll let Victor explain that to you. I’ll be off to my room. With earplugs in my ears. In case it gets noisy during the night.”  

Oswald frowned. “It never gets noisy here…” he muttered but Ed was already gone. 

Oswald found himself face to face with Mr. Fries. 

“Erm.” he uttered awkwardly. He wasn’t quite sure how to inquire about Mr. Fries’ purpose. He was a bit annoyed with Ed for dumping the stranger on him like that. 

“You must be wondering why I’m here.” Mr. Fries said. 

“Well, yes, actually, I do wonder. Why are you here?” 

“Mr. Nygma hired me as a present for you.” Mr. Fries explained. 

Oswald frowned. “A present.” he repeated, still not quite following. “And what do you do exactly?” 

“I make sure you have a great time in my company.” Mr. Fries said, leaning into Oswald’s personal space. 

Oswald swallowed nervously and shifted away from the big lug of a man. “Now, Mr. Fries--” 

“Victor. Please.” 

Oswald forced a polite smile to his face. “ _ Victor _ . I’m sure you’re splendid at what you do--” 

“I’m  _ more  _ than  _ spectacular _ .” Victor clarified. 

“-- but I’m already having a pretty great time on my own so I won’t be needing your services.” 

Oswald tried to leave but the man stood in his way, determined and unmoveable like an iceberg. 

“Uh-huh. I don’t think that’s true.” Victor said. “You seem tense and I can help with that. You see, I’m also a great masseuse.” 

“I really don’t--” 

“Here, let me show you.” 

Before Oswald could word another protest, Victor’s large hands were on his shoulders, doing something truly spectacular that made the mayor gasp. 

“See? Told you you were too tense. I can make that tension go away. Strip.”

Oswald hesitated for a moment. 

“It’s just a massage.” Victor assured, lifting his hands in the air. 

Oswald let out a sigh and started undressing. 

~*~   

“Well? How did it go?” Ed asked with a grin. He had waited for Victor Fries to finish his task to get details on the progress. 

“Mr. Cobblepot accepted the massage, he even seemed quite pleased with it, but the moment I tried something more he got really angry and started yelling at me.” 

“Oh.” Ed frowned. “You were supposed to seduce him.” 

“He wouldn’t let me. He really is a ball of nerves. But at least the massage got some of his tension away.” 

“Well, thank you very much anyway.” Ed said, giving Victor his payment. “If I need your services again, I’ll call.” 

~*~ 

“Good Morning, Oswald.” Ed greeted cheerfully when he showed up for breakfast the next day. 

Oswald was already at his usual seat at the head of the table, frowning at his food. “I don’t want to see you right now, Ed.” he growled. 

Ed stopped in his tracks, confused. “Oh?” 

Oswald slammed his hands on the table. “How could you do that to me? Hiring some-- Hiring Mr. Fries was a  _ horrible  _ idea!” he huffed helplessly. “I understand you’re uncomfortable around me but there was no need to humiliate me like that.” 

“I wasn’t trying to humiliate you, Oswald. I only wanted you to unwind. To find someone better.” Ed said honestly. “Your entire infatuation with me could be nothing more than you being horny.” 

Oswald’s ears were burning. “You clearly don’t understand me, Ed, so better just stay out of it!” 

Ed pulled out the chair closest to Oswald and sat down to look him in the eyes. “Oswald, you’re lonely. I don’t want you to--” 

“You think I fell in love with you because I’m lonely!?” Oswald gasped. He looked hurt. “Ed, it doesn't work like that.  _ Love  _ doesn’t work like that. I’ve been lonely my entire life but I didn’t go about falling in love with just anyone! I needed someone special. You, Ed. You are that special person.” He blinked rather more rapidly than was normal, perhaps to chase away tears. Then he shook his head, defeated. “But it doesn’t matter. Just don’t try to force any replacements of you in my bed anymore. It’s demeaning.” 

Ed realized his mistake and felt really bad for hiring Fries. Things were apparently more complicated than what he had assumed and now not only did he make Oswald angry, he also made him more sad too. 

“Forgive me.” Ed said, earnestly. “I misunderstood. It won’t happen again.” 

He had thought Oswald’s feelings were purely physical. But he couldn’t have been further from the truth. Things were quite different. Perhaps Oswald was demisexual? In which case finding someone who wasn’t Ed attractive would be really tricky for him, Ed realized. Well, that was awkward. And difficult. How could he help his friend get over this whole love thing if Oswald only had eyes for him? He didn’t want Oswald to suffer. Especially not because of him. Pining after your best friend was never a good idea. So what could Ed do? 

He was suddenly reminded of that old song  _ After you get what you want you don’t want it _ . Perhaps if Ed gave Oswald what Oswald wanted, Oswald would be cured and wouldn’t want Ed anymore! It was a long shot but it was definitely worth a try! At least it would be better than doing nothing. 

Ed wondered what would Oswald think about his new idea. 

~*~ 

“Hi.” Ed grinned at Oswald. 

Oswald looked at him from his desk, unimpressed. 

“You still grumpy?” Ed asked, taking a step closer. 

Oswald gave him a look. Yep, he was still grumpy. 

Ed sighed. “Okay, I admit I crossed a line.” 

“You hired a prostitute for me, Ed. I’d say you crossed  _ several  _ lines.” 

“A personal company keeper.” Ed corrected, trying to soften the situation a little but seeing that it did not work he quickly waved it off. “Anyway. Perhaps that wasn’t one of my best ideas.” 

“You think?” 

“But it came from a place of deep care and platonic love.” 

“Mhm.” Oswald nodded. He bit at his lower lip before finally looking up at Ed again. “Look, it’s not your fault, Ed, it’s mine. I realize I must’ve really upset you if you found it necessary to take such drastic measures. I thought I was managing to not be too obvious but I guess it wasn’t enough. So I’ll try my best to get myself under control from now on.” 

Ed shook his head. “But it won’t work, we both know it.” 

Oswald looked slightly more worried now. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, we can’t continue like that. Eventually this is going to ruin our friendship. And I really don’t want that to happen, Oswald. I think we need to act before it all goes to hell.” 

Oswald was completely terrified. “No! Ed, please! Don’t leave! I cannot let you leave!” he gasped, jumping up from his chair despite the pain in his bad leg. 

Ed chuckled amused. Oswald’s constant fear of Ed leaving him was rather comical. “Relax. I told you I wasn’t going to.” he grinned, pleased with how clever he was. 

Oswald frowned and sat back down. “Then what…. It’s not another personal company keeper, is it?” 

“Nope. That won’t work on you either. I misjudged the situation. This new idea, it’s entirely different. But it’s… the real cure!” 

“Um…” Oswald didn’t seem too optimistic about it.  

“Would you mind getting up from your chair again, please?” 

Oswald placed his hands on his desk and lifted himself up carefully and still a little weary of what Ed was going to do this time. 

“Good. Now face me.” Ed said, moving over to Oswald’s side of the desk. 

Oswald turned to the right to face him, rolling his eyes. “I really don’t see why--” 

“Perfect.” Ed smiled down at him and took another step. 

Oswald felt his heart skipping a beat. Ed’s proximity was doing things to him and he was certain his sudden excitement was showing on his face. He was still unable to control his emotions when Ed was this close and wasn’t that just pathetic? Ed probably thought him pathetic. 

“Shh, relax. No need to be this tense.” Ed whispered and before Oswald could reply Ed leaned in and gently brushed their lips together.

It was very different from their first kiss the other night but it was just as mind-blowing for Oswald. The mere fact that it was even happening was enough to send the mayor over the Moon. Oswald let out a desperate little whimper, his knees suddenly going weak as he lost his balance and almost fell. Luckily for him, Ed’s quick reaction to wrap his arms around him saved Oswald from completely embarrassing himself by ending up on the floor. 

“This is your new therapy.” Ed announced, still holding Oswald by the waist to support his weight. He grinned down at his shorter friend. “I have this new theory that I want us to test.” 

“Oh? W-what theory is that?” 

“We should start sharing certain intimacies, kisses, little touches, hugs and cuddles, you get the idea. It won’t be dating but at least that way you can receive what you need from me without it compromising our friendship. Once you experience what you’re pining after, you’ll be able to move on from your feelings. Isn’t that neat?” 

“Ar-- are you certain you’re okay with that?” Oswald asked, a little unsure. “You won’t be uncomfortable or--?” 

“I’m sure, Oswald. I gave it some good thought and I know things will get much better with this therapy.” 

Oswald nodded, still not quite convinced. “It’s a very interesting idea.” he said, clearing his throat as his voice betrayed him. 

“Trust me.” Ed smiled at him, his hand cupping Oswald’s cheek. “What do you think?” 

“I certainly hope it won’t fail.” Oswald said, far too distracted by Ed’s hand on his face to form a proper reply.  

Ed leaned in closer and whispered. “So. Tell me what you like, Oswald. How do you like to be touched?” 

Oswald thought he’d have a heart attack right here and now. A small gasp escaped his lips before he could stop it. “Um, I don’t think I really know that.” he muttered, face heating up. 

Ed had never seen him this flustered before. It was adorable. “You don’t know what you like?” Ed asked, the soft smile not leaving his lips. 

Oswald shook his head, looking down at their shoes. He looked extremely vulnerable at that moment. Nothing like the formidable man of power that the rest of Gotham knew and feared. 

“I see.” Ed said, realizing what that meant. Oswald was a virgin. Ed had his suspicions but now that Oswald had practically confirmed it, certain things made much more sense. “Well, it’s alright.” Ed continued. “We’ll discover that together. It’ll be a good scientific experiment. Okay?” 

“Okay…” Oswald breathed. 

And thus their cure/experiment/therapy began. 

~*~ 

In the mornings they greeted each other with a peck on the lips. They sometimes held hands at the table. They also definitely hugged more often than usual. Oswald really enjoyed hugs. He needed the physical and emotional reassurance that hugs provided so he snuggled to Ed practically every chance he got. He also really liked calling Ed various terms of endearment -- ‘darling, love, dear’, anything really. Ed didn’t mind at all. It was rather nice to be appreciated like that, to feel wanted and loved. It was a novel feeling for him but definitely something he could get used to. 

In public they kept their relationship the way it always has been. No need for all of Gotham to know their personal affairs. Besides, they weren’t really a couple, they were just faking it to make Oswald feel better. So there wasn't really anything to tell. Moreover, them cuddling in the evenings didn’t exactly change anything about their work relationship. If anything, it improved it. Ed felt like he knew Oswald even better now, which helped him provide the strategies he knew Oswald would need and approve of. So that was going well. 

In the evenings they snuggled in front of the fireplace and had pleasant fireside chats. It was cozy and sweet and it left a very distinctive sense of home in Ed’s heart. In fact, Ed enjoyed pretty much everything about their ‘cure therapy’. And if Oswald would snuggle closer to him, resting his head on Ed’s shoulder like a trusting little bird, well, that only meant the experiment was going well and the cure was working effectively. 

On the whole, this seemed like one of the best ideas Ed ever had. He wasn’t half as uncomfortable about the physical intimacy as he expected to be when he first suggested it. His idea then was to endure whatever Oswald asked of him so that Oswald would get over him. But Oswad never overstepped any boundaries, always asked permission first even for the most innocent of touches. Instead of being uncomfortable with the whole situation, Ed found himself rather happy with the new dynamic. In fact, he was surprised by how little had actually changed between Oswald and him despite the new additions in the levels of their intimacy. It was almost like they’ve always been this close without Ed realizing it. 

_ Edward Nygma’s current assessment of the progress of the cure: Quite good!  _

~*~   

He couldn’t sleep so he decided to go grab something to eat. On his way to the kitchen though he noticed faint light coming from Oswald’s study. 

“Oswald?” He took a peek inside to find Oswald curled up in his favorite armchair near the fireplace. He looked so small and vulnerable it was hard to believe he was the most powerful and feared man in Gotham. “Oswald? Is something wrong?” He asked. He didn’t mean to disturb his friend but he had to make sure everything was alright. 

Startled by Ed’s voice, Oswald quickly wiped at his eyes, evidently to hide his tears, and then turned around to face him. 

“Ed. No, everything’s fine. Go to sleep.” he said, his voice wavering slightly despite his efforts. 

Ed frowned. He wasn’t an idiot, he could tell something was wrong. 

He took a few steps closer to his friend’s chair. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” he assured. 

Oswald sighed. The corners of his lips curled up in a soft but fond smile. “There’s no fooling you, is there?” 

“Nope.” 

Oswald looked back at the fire. “It’s the anniversary of my mother’s death.” he said quietly. “I miss her more than ever.” 

“Oh… Oswald…” Ed felt terrible for his friend but he didn’t really know what to say to make things better. Instinctively he leaned in and wrapped his arms around Oswald’s shoulders. He could at least give him the physical reassurance of not being alone in his sorrow.  

Oswald hugged back with near desperation, burying his face in Ed’s chest. “I miss them both so much.” he sobbed, letting the tears fall again.  

Ed hugged him tighter. “It’s alright. Let it out.” he said quietly, stroking Oswald’s head. 

Poor little bird. There was so much love in Oswald’s tiny body. For someone who was famous for his rage and hate, Oswald was definitely capable of a surprising amount of love. He needed affection, even if he hardly ever allowed himself to trust anyone enough to receive it. Anyone but Ed, that was. Oswald trusted Ed, he let Ed in, and that made Ed feel like he was very special. 

“You know, you could come sleep in my bed tonight.” Ed heard himself offering. 

Oswald let go of him and looked up, surprised. “What?” 

“Yes, it’d be nice.” Ed smiled comfortingly. “We can snuggle and it’ll keep the bad dreams and the sadness away.” 

“You’re sure you’d be okay with that?” Oswald asked carefully, but there was hope in his voice. 

“Of course.” Ed assured. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” 

“True.” 

They’ve shared a bed before but it was different then, Oswald didn’t say but it was implied. Ed could tell he was thinking it. It was true that things were much simpler between them back then. To Ed’s knowledge, Oswald wasn’t in love with him at those times. Their friendship was only beginning to form. And yet, it wasn’t that big a deal for them to be sharing a bed again. A friendly snuggle. They’ve done it hundreds of times on the couch. Why should a bed suddenly make a difference? 

Yes, Ed was definitely okay with that. 

~*~  

Sharing a bed with Oswald was actually a wonderful experience for Ed. Oswald was warm and snuggly and there was something strangely adorable about him when he was asleep. Ed really enjoyed it so when the next night Oswald knocked on his door asking if he could spend the night in Ed’s bed again, Ed readily agreed. Since then bed sharing sort of became their new thing. After a long tiring day, they’d have dinner, spend their evenings together, and go to bed together to snuggle and sleep peacefully in each other’s arms. Ed realized he had never slept better in his life. Not even when he and Kristen used to share a bed and bed sharing with Kristen used to be such a spectacular event for Ed. Although perhaps that had more to do with the fact that she was the first person he ever slept with. 

Anyway, things were very different with Oswald but that was a  _ good  _ different. It was a different that made Ed feel excited and sort of cheerful and in a really good mood throughout the entire day. 

_ Edward Nygma’s assessment of the current progression of the cure: Even better!  _

~*~ 

Oswald was in his study again, looking at his father’s portrait and perhaps wondering if he’d be proud of him. Oswald’s regard for his parents and his need for their approval was not something Ed, having grown up in  _ his own  _ family, could personally relate to but he still found it sweet and adorable. Like most things about Oswald, really. Oswald was either sweet and adorable, or powerful and beautifully deranged. Ed loved it all! He could still learn so much from his best friend, it was fascinating! The way Oswald’s clever mind worked, his ability to adjust to any situation, his perseverance and ambition, the way he never gave up no matter what blows life dealt him with. And, of course, his heart. Oswald’s heart was just as powerful as his mind. Perhaps even more so since Ed’s noticed how strongly guided by his emotions Oswald was. 

He cleared his throat to attract the other man’s attention. 

“I brought wine.” Ed said. “We have a special reason to celebrate.” 

“Oh?” 

“Mhm.” Ed hummed pleased, showing Oswald the expensive bottle of fine wine he’d gotten for the occasion. 

“Uh-oh. Did I forget an anniversary or something?” Oswald chuckled. 

Ed grinned. “No. Nothing like that.” he assured. “The figures came out today. It seems you managed to provide Gotham with the lowest crime rate in history!” 

Oswald’s eyes went wide. “Really?” 

“The figures are  _ amazing _ , Oswald! You’re the best mayor this city ever had. It says so in the results.” 

Oswald looked kind of sad. 

“What is it?” Ed frowned. 

“Those figures  _ are  _ real, aren’t they, Ed?” Oswald asked, nervously. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You didn’t falsify them?” 

“Oh, Oswald, no! I promise I did nothing of the sort! This is  _ all you _ . The figures are quite legitimate.” 

Oswald’s face cleared up at that and he smiled brightly. “In that case, this is a great thing to celebrate indeed!” He rose to his feet to gaze at Ed appreciatively. “I wouldn’t have done it without you. Thank you, Ed.” 

Ed felt his cheeks flushing at the praise. Knowing that he’s done something right and clever was always pleasant for him. But hearing Oswald’s admiration of what he’d done, his appreciation, that was times better. As if he needed Oswald’s validation, he needed Oswald to be proud of him, much like Oswald needed it from his parents. It was new but quite fulfilling. 

Ed returned Oswald’s smile and the two had a lovely dinner together. 

~*~ 

Their system was working perfectly. Like clockwork. Until one night everything went crazy. And it was all Ed’s fault!

Like most nights, they were in bed together, snuggled and almost asleep. Oswald was relaxed and soft in Ed’s arms. He could feel the other man’s warmth, his breathing, his heartbeat. It was very intimate, like most things the two had been doing recently. But Ed felt differently tonight. There was this strange urge that wouldn’t leave him be. A feeling of restlessness and heat that prevented him from calming down and falling asleep peacefully. He was too tense and he didn’t know what to do about it. 

“Are you okay?” Oswald’s soft voice broke the silence. He must’ve felt Ed’s agitation. He’s always been so caring and protective of Ed. At least after they became friends. 

“I’m fine.” Ed insisted but he was huffing and shifting in bed, unable to find a comfortable position. 

“You’re nervous.” Oswald noted. “Do you need to talk about it?” 

“No.” Ed said firmly. 

After a short silence Oswald spoke again, this time his voice was more quiet, small and unsure. “Do you want me to go? Leave you alone?” 

He must’ve thought his presence was irritating Ed and keeping him from falling asleep. But Ed imagined himself alone in the cold bed, with Oswald all the way to his own bedroom. The mere thought made him physically ill. 

“No.” he said with certainty. 

“Do you need a hug?” Oswald then offered. “They’re more helpful than you may think.”

Actually a hug sounded like a good idea. Perhaps that would help Ed calm down and finally fall asleep. He nodded and Oswald shifted closer to him, wrapping his arms around his body, stroking Ed’s head gently. 

Yes, this  _ definitely  _ felt better. Ed turned his face towards Oswald, burying his nose in Oswald’s hair. It was surprisingly soft without all the products he usually put in it. Ed inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar scent. Then exhaled and realized the unpleasant feelings of anxiety from before were being lifted from his shoulders. He rubbed his face in Oswald’s hair, fully enjoying the closeness and then pressed a kiss to Oswald’s temple. 

“Ed,” Oswald whispered, “you don’t have to do this about me. Forget about the cure now, I just want  _ you  _ to relax.” 

Ed didn’t hear him. He was too far gone in this new feeling of serenity that came from his contact with Oswald. He had over time gotten so used to it that now it actually had an extremely calming effect on him. In short, it felt good to be near Oswald. So he pressed himself closer, craving more contact. Oswald did not protest, he did not pull away. He let Ed do whatever he pleased.  

Ed hummed, closing his eyes, shifting again so that he could lean for a kiss. Oswald’s mouth was eager when their lips met and Ed could feel his heartbeat speeding up. His hand slid down, tracing a line down Oswald’s body, fingers brushing against skin warm even through the fabric of Oswald’s pajamas. It rested suspiciously close to Oswald’s ass.  

They haven’t gone that far in their intimacy yet. The cure therapy did not provide any rules about touches like  _ this _ . Oswald let out a little breath of surprise but he did not stop Ed, so Ed continued his little exploration. He was suddenly fascinated with Oswald in a way he never expected to be. In a very physical way, highly aware of Oswald’s body against his, conscious of what Oswald felt for him, knowing that if he  _ wanted  _ something, Oswald would  _ let him have it _ ,  _ give it to him gladly _ . 

Ed’s lips trailed kisses down Oswald’s neck -- that beautiful neck! Ed loved that neck! -- as his hands kept roaming all over Oswald’s body as if on their own volition. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to touch bare skin so his hand rucked up Oswald’s pajama top, sliding in and delighting at the feeling. He smirked when he heard the smaller man moan at the touch.  

Over the years they’ve known each other Ed had heard many sounds from Oswald, but never had he uttered a sound like  _ that _ . It excited Ed, it made him crave to hear it again, over and over. Oswald was quite a vocal man in everything he did and apparently the bedroom was no exception. Listening to him was bliss and Ed revelled in it. The sounds Oswald made almost despite himself, went straight to Ed’s groin. It should have alarmed him -- this was Oswald and things weren’t  _ like that  _ between them -- but he couldn’t be bothered this time. All that mattered was that Oswald was in his arms, pliant and vulnerable and warm and willing, loving him, needing him, devoted to him. 

“Ed…” Oswald breathed out and Ed could feel his arousal. 

He pressed himself closer to Oswald, taking what he needed, giving what was wanted. There was no logic here, only raw emotions and for once Ed was more than willing to surrender to them. 

He pulled at Oswald’s clothes, wishing to remove all barriers between them. Getting the hint, Oswald did the same until after a few moments of haste fumbling and nervous giggles on Oswald’s part they were both completely naked. Ed didn’t think he could stop now even if he wanted to. And he definitely didn’t want to. This was too good for him to put an end to. 

“Ed, I love you!” Oswald gasped and for the first time it didn’t feel wrong to Ed to hear the words. It felt perfect. 

~*~  

The next morning Ed woke up in Oswald’s arms. Memories of what they did last night flooded his mind as he realized that it wasn’t just a happy dream, it had  _ actually  _ happened. 

Instant dread filled his heart. They had a good thing going, Oswald and him. But Ed had to go and ruin it all! He had taken advantage of Oswald’s feelings for him to quench his own carnal needs and that was not part of the plan. In fact, that was really unfair to Oswald and Ed was ashamed of himself for letting it happen. He was supposed to cure his friend but instead he made it worse by adding sex into this. 

And yet, just one glance at Oswald’s sleeping body next to him and Ed knew that deep down, despite his guilt, he did not regret what happened. He’d want it to happen again. And that frightened him. 

He was so freaked out by his own feelings that he was certain he was in no condition to face Oswald. Instead, he carefully slipped out of the bed, gathered his clothes and sneaked out of the bedroom. He needed to compose himself and figure things out for himself. And after that, have a serious conversation with Oswald. But first he needed to understand his own feelings and that wasn’t as easy as it should have been. 

~*~ 

When he finally went down for breakfast he found Oswald already at the table. Ed sucked in a deep breath and entered the room. 

“Oswald. About last night…” 

Oswald raised his hand. “Say no more. I understand.” he said. 

“You do?” Ed blinked surprised. 

“Yes. It was all part of the therapy. And it worked. The cure worked. So you don’t have to put yourself through any of that anymore.” 

Ed felt disappointment surging through him. “What?” 

“You gave me what I wanted. You made that sacrifice for me and I’m grateful to you for it.” Oswald said and his voice sounded more steady and calm than it had right to. “But now there’s no need for more. I’m cured of my love. I can move on.” 

It was supposed to be a happy moment for Ed. Not only did his plan work, but he also didn’t hurt Oswald’s feelings with what happened last night. He helped his friend and everything could go back to normal now, like it was before. Only, he didn’t want it to go back to what it was before. He didn't want to go backwards, he wanted to move forward. With Oswald. He wanted to further explore their new dynamic. He  _ wanted more _ . He felt happy sharing intimacies with Oswald, each and every one of them. Even when Oswald would accidentally kick him in his sleep, steal his blanket, or when Ed would wake up in the morning with Oswald being wrapped around him like a greedy octopus. Their cuddling, the comfort, the warmth and the love. Ed didn’t want to part with that. Those things were supposed to be the cure for Oswald’s love but the truth was, they were for Ed too. He not only enjoyed being this close to Oswald, he  _ needed  _ it. He wanted them to be together properly, as a couple. 

But it was all over now. He had screwed it up by adding sex to their program. And now that Oswald got that he wanted he had enough of Ed and no longer needed him like that. _ After you get what you want you don’t want it. _ Ed was finally Oswald’s, entirely, completely, utterly, helplessly. But Oswald didn’t want Ed anymore.

Ed’s cure had succeeded in its purpose. And wasn’t that just awful? 

~*~ 

“Victor!” Ed exclaimed with surprise. “Victor Fries? What are you doing in the mansion?” 

“Oh, hi. I got invited.” The tall icy man replied. 

“Invited? By whom? I didn’t-- oh…” Realization dawned at him. “Did-- did Oswald invite you?” 

Victor nodded with a shrug. “Yeah. I guess he needed me.” 

Ed deflated. “Oh. I-- I guess he did…” 

“Well, I should go now.” Victor said. “Don’t want to keep him waiting.” 

Ed frowned, standing dumbly in the middle of the hall and watching Victor Fries disappear upstairs into Oswald’s room. 

~*~

Ed couldn’t concentrate on his work for the rest of the afternoon. Victor Fries was taking too long in Oswald’s room. What could the two of them be doing? Was Oswald now suddenly fond of sex? Keen to have more? Did Ed unleash some kind of sexual monster inside the little bird? Did he awaken Oswald’s sexual appetites to such an extent that now Oswald was bringing men to his bed? And most importantly, why was this bothering Ed so much? Wasn’t the point of their entire charade over the last month or so to get Oswald to move on from Ed? And wasn’t inviting other men over the ultimate way of moving on? That was supposed to be a good thing. So why wasn’t it? 

In his naivety Ed had expected that Oswald moving on would entail things returning to the way they were before. Oswald remaining single and uninterested in anyone else. Ed wanted them to spend all their time together with Ed having Oswald’s high regards exclusively to himself. And suddenly it hit him. That desire to be the sole beneficiary of Oswald’s affections  _ wasn’t a recent thing _ . He had  _ always  _ craved Oswald’s undivided attention. Even back when they first met. Ed wanted to be Oswald’s best friend, Oswald’s right hand man, Oswald’s best Chief of Staff, Oswald’s everything. Even Oswald’s best housekeeper, ridiculous as it sounded, taking in tasks such as cleaning stains from Oswald’s shirts and suits without even being asked for it. When he thought about it, there wasn’t really a time since he’s known Oswald when Ed wasn’t jealous of anyone else having even the slightest bit of Oswald’s attention. He was irritated when Oswald was pleased with Butch’s work. He started hating Jim Gordon when he realized Oswald was a bit too taken by him. Hating to the extent of actually framing the man for murder. He was annoyed with Oswald’s friendliness towards their maid Olga. Every single person Oswald had ever praised Ed despised. 

But things had to move  _ forward _ . The possibility of Oswald having other people in his life, in his  _ private, intimate  _ life, was suddenly quite real. And it would have been selfish of Ed to want Oswald all to himself. It was normal that Oswald had more people in his life, including intimate relationships, and Ed should not be bothered by it. But he was. He was very bothered. 

Footsteps came from the corridor and Ed jumped hastily from his desk, realizing it was probably Fries. 

“Victor! Victor, wait!” he rushed after him, desperate to get to the man before he left the mansion. 

Victor turned around, arching an eyebrow at Ed. “Yes?”  

Ed let out a nervous chuckle, not really having a clear idea what he wanted to say exactly. “So…, what did Oswald want with you?” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Nygma. I can’t discuss a client with another person.” Victor said regretfully. 

A  _ client _ . Oswald was a  _ client _ . 

Did Oswald pay Victor for sex? It was rather obvious that he did, wasn’t it? Why else would he call Fries here?  _ Oswald brought a prostitute in their home in broad daylight and paid the guy for an afternoon shag? _ It still sounded quite incredible in Ed’s head but what other explanation was there?

Ed’s throat was getting tighter, as if someone was strangling him. 

There was an awkward silence which Ed completely missed to notice. 

“I have to go.” Victor finally said, when it was clear Mr. Nygma had apparently lost his mind and wasn’t going to say anything else. “I have things to buy.” 

And Victor quickly slipped out the front door.  _ The freaking front door _ , Ed’s mind screamed. 

That was it! Ed lost it! 

With assured step he strode off to Oswald’s bedroom, hardly waiting for a permission before opening the door. 

Oswald was still in his bed, half-naked, his hair disheveled, a relaxed and somewhat lazy look on his face. It made Ed even angrier to know that someone else had seen Oswald like this, someone who wasn’t Ed. 

He pursed his lips in rage and irritation. “Are you completely insane?” He scolded. 

Oswald frowned and yawned. “What do you mean?” 

“What do I mean!?” Ed gasped, outraged. “Oswald, you  _ can’t  _ bring prostitutes home during broad daylight! You can’t have sex with prostitutes during broad daylight! You can’t do that, period!” 

“What?” 

“I saw Victor Fries! I  _ saw  _ him!” Ed was yelling now, baring his teeth at Oswald and waving his hands about in jerky motions. He was finding it very hard to control himself. “As your Chief of Staff I have to  _ insist  _ that you  _ never  _ do anything like that again.  _ Ever  _ !”

“Ed--” 

“Imagine if the press found out! What if they take pictures!? Did you even think about that? Did you even  _ consider  _ anything other than your own basic carnal urges and desires? Restrain yourself, man!” 

Oswald was still blinking confused, the same fuzzy expression on his face. 

A sharp pain pierced through Edward’s heart. “Damn you, Oswald.” he said, his voice weaker now. “You’re still postcoital and can’t even clear your head enough to understand what I’m talking about.” 

He had not expected it to hurt. He never thought a broken heart could be felt like a physical pain as well. But it could and it did. It was physically hurting Ed that Oswald was with someone else. He wanted to scream and cry, sob like a wounded animal, and he just couldn’t let himself do any of those in front of Oswald. 

He headed to the door with every intention to slam it in the mayor’s afterglow face, when Oswald stopped him. 

“Ed, wait!” he sat up in the bed, looking worried. It was about time for him to grasp the real gravity of his actions and accept the consequences. “Ed....Postcoital? I don’t understand.” 

So he was still quite clueless! Ed was even more irritated now. “It means  _ after sex _ .” he clarified through gritted teeth. 

“No, I know what postcoital means. I don’t understand why you think I had sex.” 

Ed frowned. “Well, Victor Fries, he--” 

“He’s my new masseuse.” Oswald explained. 

Now that Penguin mentioned it, Ed really did notice the lingering smell of oils and creams people used for massages. Oh. 

“He’s really talented with his hands, helped me a lot the last time, so I encouraged him to try becoming a masseuse instead. He does miracles to my sore muscles and my leg too.” 

“Oh.” Was all Ed could say. He felt like an utter idiot. 

“Ed? Are you still mad at me?” Oswald tilted his head, looking at Ed with concern. “Say something?” 

“I-- I misunderstood… I thought-- A man of your standing could not be seen in the company of-- So I was worried about the press and--” Ed couldn’t really finish any of those sentences. It took him a moment to realize that he couldn’t finish them because they were all lies and he didn’t want to lie to Oswald. He sucked in a deep breath and tried with the truth instead. “I was very jealous, Oswald. I think at some point during our pretence, I fell in love with you. For real. And I know it’s too late now, that you’ve moved on, and I know it’s unfair of me to suck you into this again, but I can’t help it. It’s how I feel. I’m not sure if I wasn’t in love with you for far longer than I was capable of understanding. I’m just-- I’m just an idiot.” 

He looked down at the carpeted floor. He wasn’t sure he would be able to bear to look Oswald in the eyes after everything. But then he heard the bed springs creek and in less than a second Oswald was standing in front of him, radiating excitement.

“I never moved on, Ed. If anything, your ‘cure’ only made me love you more.” Oswald said, tears glistening in his eyes, making their color even more beautiful. He was smiling warmly as he spoke. “When I asked you to end the ‘therapy’ I only did it because it was becoming too painful for me to know that our intimacies didn’t mean to you what they meant to me. I thought you didn’t reciprocate and it hurt me too much so I had to stop.”

“Oswad… Is that true?” Ed asked incredulous. His eyes were wide, making him look like a puppy. 

Oswald nodded, biting back his grin. “Yes. Yes, it’s true. I love you more than ever, Ed. I don’t think I could ever truly cure myself of those feelings--” 

“Don’t!” Ed cut him off. “Don’t ever cure yourself of your love for me! Love me forever, Oswald! Please…” 

Oswald beamed. “Well, if you have feelings for me too then I guess now we can--” 

“Get married!” Ed finished for him, wrapping his arms around Oswald’s waist. 

Oswald chuckled fondly. “I meant try be a couple but I guess your plan works too.” 

“Oh, Oswald, face it.” Ed said using his Chief of Staff voice to put more weight and expertise in his words. “We’ve been a couple since long before either of us could realize it.” 

The matching look of love and devotion in Oswald’s eyes was enough to fill Ed’s heart with such great happiness he’d never known before. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his friend’s lips only to have him return it with matching affection. 

_ Edward Nygma’s assessment: The experiment of the cure therapy did not go as planned. But it exceeded expectations!  _


End file.
